Nintendo Switch Transformed into the World’s Slowest iPhone: 20-Minute Boot Times, Kernel Panics, and Nonfunctional Apps

Sure, here’s a rewritten version:

—

So, get this—some tech wizard (or maybe mad scientist?) decided to put iOS on a Nintendo Switch. Yeah, you heard me right. The person behind this curious escapade, known as PatRyk on X, proudly declared they’d made the “world’s slowest ‘iPhone’.” Seriously, it takes over 20 minutes just to boot up. Imagine twiddling your thumbs for that long—I’d probably lose track of what I was doing, honestly. And, plot twist, whatever app you try… crash! But hey, it’s a beginning, right? Or something like that.

So while everyone else is buzzing about the fancy new Switch 2, PatRyk—somehow—spent two whole days smushing Apple’s mobile OS onto this popular little game console. Talk about patience! I mean, 20 minutes might be the world’s slowest boot, but they must’ve done this again and again. Did they stare blankly at a failing boot screen, wondering why they even started? Bet they did more times than they’ll admit.

And the whole thing sounds like a tech nightmare. How does PatRyk put it? Oh yeah, “kernel panics every 2nd thing you do.” Apps crash like it’s their job. Some kind of existential crisis for electronics. Not giving up your real iPhone for this switcheroo just yet, I’d guess.

But, oh! Can it be done? Apparently, yes. It’s possible! Just needs… I dunno, endless optimization, I suppose. I’m skeptical you’d swap your sleek Apple device for this new Frankenstein anytime soon. Let’s not hold our breath.

And the secret sauce here? It’s all thanks to something called QEMU, a version cooked up by ChefKissInc for the iPhone 11. QEMU what now? Some kind of emulator magic, making Apple Silicon devices do tricks. In tech terms, I mean. So, PatRyk wrestled with GitHub and Apple iOS for a couple of head-spinning days. All this tinkering bore some fruit eventually. They got iOS to at least peek out from the covers and do a messy little dance on the Switch, which runs on the Nvidia Tegra X1. Wild, right?

And here’s the kicker—will more time sink into this quirky project? PatRyk’s leaving us in suspense. They tease more coding escapades are on the way. So, stay glued for the next round of this saga. Or don’t. I mean, who knows what’s next? Keep an eye out, or don’t. I’ll be here, wondering how on earth this all came to be.