Review in Progress: Tainted Grail: The Fall of Avalon

The first thing I grabbed in Tainted Grail: The Fall of Avalon—well, aside from clothes or weapons—was, believe it or not, smut. Yeah, I can hear you whispering, “Of course it was smut, you predictable rascal.” But hold on! It was accidental. Totally clueless on my part. I stumbled upon it in what seemed like the guards’ hangout spot after I managed to escape my cell. There was this sketch of a really attractive woman, the words “love apples” caught my eye, and—poof—I zoned out. Where was I going with this? Oh right, let’s rewind a bit and dive into my early escapades with this quirky but kinda familiar open-world RPG.

So, Tainted Grail: The Fall of Avalon—yeah, it’s this new twist on the whole Arthurian legend. Picture this: the Red Death plague overruns Arthur’s homeland, so he leads his people to Avalon, conquers it, and with Merlin’s magic, wipes out this crazy force called the Wyrdness. Fast forward 600 years. The old tales are, well, history. The Wyrdness returns, the Red Death’s back, and you—you’re just a no-name prisoner caught up with the Red Priests who are on a wild goose chase for a cure. Pretty neat setup, though, balancing what you need to know while teasing all of Avalon’s mysteries.

Anyway, you jump into the game with this character creator. It’s… fine, I guess? Everyone’s skin kind of looks like Play-Doh, which is weird. The hair is nice though. Not that it matters much because you’re gonna spend your life in first-person unless you try the not-so-great third-person mode that the devs threw in for kicks (and accessibility).

Once you piece together your squishy hero, bam, you’re in a jail cell. Anyone who’s played The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion is probably getting major deja vu now. And hey, while it feels a bit too familiar, don’t be fooled. It’s doing its own thing. I appreciated how your stats get set by how you respond to a guard’s interrogation. I was all about the bow-and-arrow life, so I spun some yarn about hunting and making clothes from my prey. Voila! Boosted stats. Still behind bars but already carving out my legend. Proof positive that prison can change you, right?

Not spoiling the exciting escape details, but you do break free (think of it as an early parole). First thing I see is a tooltip for parrying. Sounds ominous, eh? But honestly, the first-person melee feels pretty solid. You’ve got weight in hits, blocking makes you stumble, and switching weapons actually matters. I started with a club, then picked up a knife. Felt different—a bit less thumpy but with this oddly satisfying slicing noise.

I haven’t nailed a single parry yet (feels like threading a needle), but thankfully, blocking saves me, and you’ve got this nifty backstep trick to dodge danger. This combat might not redefine RPGs or whatever, but hey, it’s holding my focus.

Most of my five-hour dive into Avalon’s spent exploring, picking random stuff (accidental smut included), and chatting up NPCs. If you’re into picking up everything and anything—think Elder Scrolls vibes—you’ll get it. Yes, I grabbed that bucket. And the one right next to it. Who wouldn’t? Could be handy, right?

I’m just scratching the surface of Tainted Grail: The Fall of Avalon. It’s a sprawling RPG with tons to discover. Even though nothing screams “groundbreaking” yet, it’s keeping my interest piqued. Oh, and I’m dodging any killer rabbits. Call it a hunch, but I’m certain one’s lurking around the corner.