Sure, here it goes:
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Alright, I’m just diving straight in, man. Doom: The Dark Ages sounded like it could be my gateway into this chaotic universe ’cause, well, it’s a prequel. But honestly, as much as I live for that adrenaline-pumping shooter vibe, Doom and even Doom Eternal? Yeah, they just slipped past my radar. Don’t ask me how. Although – just saying – I totally got a soft spot for the 2005 movie’s wild first-person bit. Anyway — wait, no — let’s jump into The Dark Ages. Picture this: Doom guy’s origin story. He’s on this crazy mission against Hell’s nasties, and I was all set to soak in the backstory and power through the chaos.
Okay, so 10 hours and 22 chapters later, here’s where I landed: it’s a jumble. Makes no sense whatsoever. And guess what? Totally cool with that. We’re here to obliterate some demons, right?
You take on the role of the Slayer, who’s like, epic at turning demons into nothingness. Why is he so amazing at it? Heck if I know. Shh, just roll with it and smash those demons.
So, Doomguy’s chilling on a ship, like some spacey hideaway run by these alien folks, the Maykrs. They’re his bosses but, plot twist, they’ve also kind of locked him up. Picture The Winter Soldier, but, you know, for demon slaughtering.
Early on, he’s basically a rented gun to help these humans with their medieval-meets-techno fight against the demon masses. Are they demons? Are they aliens? Is Earth still a thing? Honestly don’t care. Just hand me a shotgun.
The best part? Watching Doomguy outshine everyone by decimating demon armies. Sometimes with leaps that defy gravity – epic doesn’t even cover it. There’s this human kingdom, and there’s this Big Bad Demon after some… uh, MacGuffin? The story’s everywhere. Doomguy’s hopping between Hell and, like, some unknown alien turf. Might as well be Mars. While you’re busy slicing through foes with a chainsaw shield or rocking a mech suit, plot details just… fade away.
Forget about awards for storytelling, though. The gameplay? Nailed it. The melee throws in some spice, and with the final upgrades, you’re basically a demon-exterminating god. The arsenal is wild, let me tell you. And when you snag that BFC – you know what it stands for – those demons don’t stand a chance.
Plot sense? Nah, overrated. By the end, you get why Doomguy’s like a demon’s worst nightmare. It’s like, how many demons did I just murder? Even their boss dude? So Doomguy commandeers the Maykr ship — yep, his new spot for demon busting. He’s every demon’s doomsday, like John Wick with a personal vendetta but, y’know, involving demons.
Why’s he so bent on their destruction? Who even cares. It’s all about wielding that glorious chainsaw shield, my friends.
